The L Word
by PJ Zatken
Summary: On his 21st birthday, Nightwing comes home after a bad night.  As Dick masks his feelings behind a customary smile and good-natured mood, each family member does his best to remind Dick as to how special this milestone really is - especially Bruce Wayne.


**NIGHTWING**

**The "L" Word**

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><p><em><strong>Author's Note<strong>_

_General timeline for this one-shot fic is after the events depicted in the Batman and Nightwing series and before the DC 52 Reboot (with the exception of Batgirl 2011 – Volumes 1 to 3). _

_Specific timeline for this fic is set immediately after the events of Batgirl 2011, Volume 3. This fic also takes the position that events in Batgirl 1 to 3 and the entire "Mirror" story arc happen before the events of Nightwing 2011 #1. _

_**Please be warned that there are some spoilers here from Batgirl 2011, Volume 3.**_

_Don't know what the new Nightwing writers are going to keep or ignore for the reboot Nightwing Series, so this fic takes the position that everything that happened thus far in the DC universe will still remain as true and that the reboot series (if applicable) are the characters' continuing adventures. _

_In this fanfic, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Damian is Robin, Tim Drake is Red Robin, and Barbara Gordon is Batgirl._

_**Disclaimer**_

_Bruce Wayne/Batman, Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Damian Wayne/Robin, Tim Drake/Red Robin, Barbara Gordon/Batgirl, and all characters, settings, etc. appearing in DC Comics belongs to DC. This fic, however, belongs to me._

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><p>"You all sure about this…?"<p>

Tim put his index finger over his mouth, replying in a low voice to a whispering Damian, "Shhh! He's coming!"

Wayne Manor was pitch dark, with Tim and Damian hiding behind the couch and Alfred and Bruce preparing for what was about to happen. They have been in the dark for a while, their eyes adjusted to the darkness.

All eyes were on that grandfather clock – one of the silent gatekeepers of the Wayne Family secrets. More specifically, all eyes were on who was about to enter the manor.

The secured-looking grandfather clock slowly moved from its intended place.

In the shadows, a figure took the first steps in entering the stately manor.

As soon as the candles were lit by Bruce and Alfred, Tim and Damian yelled out – with Tim putting more gusto to it since Damian was still trying to figure out what this was all about and why people do such things, "Surprise!"

The lights all went back on, with the four of them singing "Happy Birthday" to a softly smiling Dick Grayson. Blushing a bit, he told everyone after the song was over, "Thanks, guys!"

Dick then walked towards Alfred and Bruce, leaning closer to the cake and blowing out the candles that showed his age starting today – 21.

Dick and Bruce gave each other a short yet meaningful hug, with the eldest son giving his father a grateful and loving smile that spoke volumes before that embrace. He needed that hug, tonight out of all nights.

Bruce knew part of what was up with Dick, which prompted him to tell Dick in a near whisper, "We'll talk later, if you'd like."

"Yeah," said Dick, the soft smile that escaped from his lips still there for all to see. He pushed whatever bothered him at the farthest corner of his mind. To him, it would not be fair to drag his family along with what had been bothering him.

As Alfred, Tim, and Damian were ahead of them as they took the cake to the kitchen, Bruce asked Dick, "How was patrol?"

After letting out a subtle sigh, Dick told Bruce as they slowed down their walk to buy them more precious seconds to talk, "The turnout could've been better, but it didn't."

"That bad, huh…?"

"Yeah, _that_ bad…."

"Did she remember what today is?"

Dick only shook his head for his response as he and Bruce joined the rest of the family in the kitchen. Aside from a cold pack to place over the back on his head, he reached out and took some ibuprofen to reduce any swelling from his scuffle with Batgirl.

Bruce was silent, resting a consoling hand on Dick's back. He and the rest heard everything that had gone on between Nightwing and Batgirl through radio link. After much talk, all of them agreed to give Dick the space that he needed to think and allow Dick to dictate if and when he would choose to share with them about what happened.

One hour flew by quickly as each had his share of cake, finger foods, and drink – each having choice from coffee, hot chocolate, and tea. Hugs and smiles were exchanged as Dick opened up his birthday presents from his family.

From Tim, the medium-sized rectangular box wrapped in blue-and-gold foil contained a top-of-the-line Apple iPad along with his birthday card for Dick which was dedicated…

_**Dear Dick,**_

_To the best eldest brother one could ever have..._

_Have an even greater year!_

_Here's something to help you stay out of the Stone Age._

_Love, your brother _

_**Tim**_

"Thanks, Tim," said Dick with a smile, giving his younger brother a hug. He whispered only loud enough for Tim to hear, "Thanks for everything…even though I failed you at times."

"You _never_ failed me," was Tim's whispered reply, affectionately tightening the hug. "Just be happy, all right? You deserve to be happy, too."

"I'll do my best, Brother." Dick then drew away from the hug, but not until after he affectionately patted Tim on the back. He then gave Tim that customary smile that said everything that he felt towards the other.

Once the hug between Dick and Tim was over, a quiet Damian then offered Dick the box which contained his gift. The box was neatly wrapped in red foil with black and green sheer ribbons to compliment it. He murmured, "Here…. I wrapped this myself…."

Dick gave his youngest brother a warm grin as he accepted the box. "Thanks, Partner."

Damian let a semblance of a smile escape from his own lips especially since Dick took even greater care in opening Damian's gift. The boy saw as to how his eldest brother unraveled the ribbons first before the latter took out the magic tapes which held the foil in place, the latter doing it nearly as meticulously as he had wrapped the present.

In the box was the newest Apple iPhone complete with accessories such as a stylus, Bluetooth headset, anti-glare and anti-fingerprint screen protector, and a drop-protection case. The card which accompanied the gift, read…

_**Dick,**_

_Happy Birthday and long live…._

_Here's to more adventure ahead…._

_Your partner and brother_

_**Damian**_

Dick's smile became warmer still. He closed his eyes and hugged Damian, grateful and feeling blessed in whatever reciprocation that Damian could give him. To him, the boy's efforts were an outpour of authentic emotion. It was more than he or anyone could ever ask for, and he was touched by the other's willingness to take the risk and be vulnerable – even if it was just for a few minutes. He whispered in the boy's ear, loud enough for only Damian to hear, "Thanks, Brother. The gift…_and you_…mean a lot to me."

"This year, try to do a better job staying in one piece will you? You're getting your ass kicked all over the place," said Damian with a small yet meaningful twitch of a smile, drawing away from Dick and gazing in his eldest brother's blue eyes.

"I will, Partner. I will," said Dick with a chuckle, tousling Damian's hair in an endearing manner.

Before Damian felt too emotional for his own good, he told Dick in a nonchalant fashion after letting out a sigh, "Well, you got two more presents to go. Which one do you open next?"

Answering the question for the eldest and youngest son of the Wayne family, Alfred took his present from the table and gave Dick the small black velvet box secured with a blue satin ribbon.

"Thanks, Alfie…." Dick then read Alfred's card first, which said…

_**Dearest Dick,**_

_Happy Birthday, dear Son!_

_Thank you for being the bright light in our lives._

_Wishing and praying for your happiness everyday…._

_With all my love,_

_**Alfred**_

Dick then unraveled the ribbon and opened the velvet box, his eyes going wide. He was silent for a few minutes, his eyes resting on the gift that the box held before managing to utter, _"Wow…."_

Alfred asked, "Do you like it, Master Dick?"

"_Wow _covers everything, Alfie. It's very cool!" said Dick with a smile. "Swiss sports watch. Very James Bond-ish…. I'm sure that there are more surprises hidden in here?"

"Why of course. Something that only can be done within the walls of this house…." Alfred's smile became more fatherly, his tone gentle. "I'm glad that you like it. Happy Birthday, young man…."

Alfred hugged Dick tightly, his blue eyes getting misty and making Tim and Damian respectively touched with what they were now seeing. He whispered, trying not to break down and reserving his words for Alfred's ears alone, "I love you, Alfred. Don't know how I...we...would've made it all this time without you."

"I love you, too, Richard," Alfred whispered back, the embrace affectionately tightening. "More than words could possibly say, young man. Let that light within you be your guide, all right?"

"All right, Alfie."

After Dick and Alfred's hug, Bruce then smiled and told Dick, "My present for you needs to wait. You're still up for it – just like old times?"

"Patrol, you mean?"

"Of course," said Bruce with a slight nod.

The eldest son loved the idea, but nonetheless glanced at his younger brothers – his gaze focused on Damian first since the boy was the current Robin and Batman's partner.

"I have modifications to make on the Batmobile. I want to finish them tonight," was Damian's reason for begging off.

And Tim's offered explanation was, "I've got communications to finish with the rest of the team."

Dick inwardly smirked. He knew that Damian would customarily insist going on patrol, Tim being no different from Damian. He thought, _"Pre-arranged… Not a surprise…. They know what went on…all of them… They're worried about me."_

"We have lunch arranged tomorrow in honor of your birthday, Master Dick. I took the liberty of informing your friends - particularly Mister West, Miss Troy, and Mr. Harper."

"Thanks, Alfred." Dick then looked at his family and gave them the warmest, most grateful smile that he could muster considering the heavy load that he carried in his heart tonight. "Thanks, everyone…. This means a lot to me. I love all of you."

The small, intimate party then went to a close.

As Alfred began cleaning up and the younger siblings volunteered to take care of his presents by putting them in his room, Dick then looked at Bruce. "Ready when you are."

Bruce nodded, going towards the grandfather clock and walking down the long dark stairs leading to the Batcave with Dick following close behind.

Tim asked Alfred, concern showing more prominently in his face now that Dick was not around, "He'll be fine, right?"

"Master Dick's resilient," said Alfred with a rueful smile. "I'm confident that he will handle it well, just as he strives to do every time."

Damian, who was at first quiet and would not admit his concerns that easily, interjected, "But we're talking about entanglements here, Pennyworth…you know, the one that causes people to think irrationally? He got hit with a batarang. His ass was kicked. His skills should've sharpened considerably after everything that had happened last year. Why was he such a klutz tonight?"

Raising an eyebrow, a peeved Tim could not help but frown and say, "We're talking about Babs here, Damian. We're not supposed to kick each other's asses."

After letting out a haughty snort, Damian dismissively replied, "Just as I said – _entanglements…_. Why does he have to be such a doormat at times, especially when it has anything to do with her?"

Stopping for a minute from his task, Alfred interjected, "Miss Gordon is strong in her own right, young sirs. You shouldn't fault Master Dick for letting his guard down. Engaging in fisticuffs with loved ones really isn't an activity that he or Master Bruce look forward to or actively pursue."

"_That_ was weakness. One should be on his guard at all times. Father wouldn't have let that happen to him."

"Yes _and_ no. Whatever happened tonight between Master Dick and Miss Gordon does not have anything to do with him being weak or inept. Matters had to come down the way that they did. If he wanted to take the higher and more gentlemanly path, it's an extension of courtesy and display of care. It _shouldn't_ be misconstrued as anything less than that."

With a frown, Damian muttered, "I just don't get it. She kicked his ass. He should kick hers back. All this talk about happiness…. He's happy getting his ass kicked by her?"

Alfred smiled at Damian, making the boy understand by telling him as gently as he could, "Master Bruce keeps most of his feelings to himself. Master Dick is the opposite. When people find their way in the world, they eventually find a balance by learning skills that are opposite to their current ways. Once they figure out what is right for them, they adopt that and hopefully that would lead them towards the right path. It's all part of growing up. Finding oneself…finding one's place in the world…adapting…relating and caring… And yes, loving…finding and appreciating the best and worse of the other person, yet still loving that person in spite of the flaws."

Both Tim and Damian fell quiet, in their own respective way. Just as Alfred had been doing right now, they too were thinking about their eldest brother and hoping that he would be fine after this really bad night.

* * *

><p>Nightwing and Batman situated themselves on the rooftop of Wayne Foundation where even the security guards would not see them in spite of routine rounds of the premises.<p>

"And we are here because….?"

"Patrol…. Chat, if you'd like. Which one would you like better?" asked Batman as he continued scanning the surroundings and checking the sky for the Bat-Signal. He relaxed a bit once he saw that everything was uneventful…quiet…

"Both, but a little later," was Nightwing's reply.

Mentor and ex-student sat side by side, being silent for a while as the night grew deeper.

Finally, after nearly an hour, Nightwing broke the silence by saying, "You heard what happened…what _she_ wanted… I could tell from them that they knew what went down."

"Yes, I did. We all did. Not on purpose, though," said Batman as he now focused his gaze on Nightwing. "What do you plan to do now?"

After letting out a sigh, Nightwing told his mentor in a calm expression that masked his hurt and disappointment, "To give her what she wants. Leave her alone. Let her be alone to figure things out…without me being around, unless she asked for my help. I just wish that I don't feel as if I'm abandoning her."

"Is that what you _really_ want to do?"

"She's still part of the family, Batman," said Nightwing with certainty laced in his voice. "No matter what happens, that relationship as family…allies…would never change. She'll always be family…and I love her…."

Batman fell quiet after hearing this from Nightwing. He fell even quieter as Nightwing slowly took off his mask. He saw the sadness through the eyes of not just Nightwing but of Dick Grayson, especially when Dick told him, "I know that I told you a while back that she and I were dating. It was hard for me to tell you, but I did it anyway. I never really talked to you about her this way, have I?"

"No, you haven't," said Batman in Bruce Wayne's tone of voice. He then pulled the cowl to reveal his face to Dick.

Dick thought out loud, not sounding bitter at all, "Why do we suck so badly in the relationship department, Bruce? It's not that women don't come into our lives so easily. But the ones that _truly_ matter, the keepers. Why don't they stay no matter how much they mean to us…no matter what we do to hold on to them?"

After letting out a sigh and thinking about his experiences and lost loves, Bruce murmured, "You know more about relating to people than I ever will."

Raising an eyebrow and frowning out of curiosity, Dick echoed back, "_I_ know more than _you_ do? Since when was that…?"

"You're more compassionate than I am. You're able to relate much better with Damian. You're the one who gave me advice about Selina, remember?"

"I saw a lot of me in Damian, especially during my time with him. I thought that I understood where you were coming from when I got a little wiser, a little older…when we finally were able to settle some of our differences quietly."

When Dick paused, Bruce was quiet for a couple of minutes. He closed his eyes, focusing on what Dick had to say when the latter added, "When you were gone, Bruce, it was like déjà vu. Someone much younger scrutinizing and criticizing me…someone who now occupied the shoes that I was in before. It was as if I became the father who was being questioned so suspiciously by my own son."

"Was it _that _hard being with Damian?"

"At first, Damian was karma at its best biting me back in the ass. Serves me right for all the hell that I've put you and Alfie through. Alfie helped me stay sane. Things eventually got better between Damian and me. He made me realize so many things. At times, I wondered as to how you and Alfie were able to put up with me after all these years."

"You did your best to make the right choices. You learned from your mistakes."

Dick gave Bruce a pursed-lipped smile, leaning forward and having his elbows rest on his thighs. "Damian's a good kid, too, Bruce. In spite of how he can be and what he's capable of doing, he's still a kid who wants to be loved and accepted by his father. He gave up everything that he knew to be with you. What we do, what we believe in…everything's so new to him. Just give him time and patience."

"I know. I don't want to let him down. There's Damian…and now Selina."

"Yeah, but you only _partially _followed my advice about her. You_ didn't_ shave and shower_ before_ seeing her." When Bruce was about to protest, Dick laughed while putting his hands up, "Hey, I'm just calling out the facts. A certain redhead had already taken first dibs on me this evening. There's a one-beating-per-day limit on this poor body."

"Fair enough…"

Seeing Bruce give him a smirk, Dick's spirits lifted up a little bit. He straightened up, stretched, and then leaned against the building's marble wall. "Am I about to do the right thing, Bruce? By leaving Babs alone…giving her that space that she wanted…being out of her life…will I be doing the right thing by giving her what she wants from us…from me, most especially?"

"You're not completely giving up on Barbara just yet, are you?"

"No…." Dick then gazed at Bruce. "I wasn't happy with the fact that her first date was with her physical therapist – not me. I know that she knows that we have means of finding out such things, but…"

Venturing a guess, Bruce finished Dick's train of thought by saying, "It would've meant a lot more to you if she had come to you first?"

Dick gave Bruce a nod, adding, "Yeah…something like that."

"You'll be doing the right thing if you give her what she wants."

As Dick's gaze at Bruce became more focused, Bruce added, "You're not giving up on her by respecting her wishes. That doesn't mean that you'd stop watching out for her or caring for her well-being. Give her time and space to sort things out, just as Alfred and I did with you."

Seeing Dick fall quiet and get caught off-guard with his words, Bruce explained, "It was hard on Alfred and me when you first left home. You leaving got mixed in with the other things that I've been trying to deal with in my own life. Alfred then gave me advice."

"And what was that?"

"To trust that we nurtured and guided you well enough all these years to make you prepared for everything. To be there for you, no matter what happens…that nothing changes in terms of who we are to each other. That I have to be patient…and hope that someday, things would be better between you and me…. To let you be your own person."

Dick then calmly asked, "And what if Babs finds someone else? What am I supposed to do?"

"Then you…we…have to accept her decision." Bruce then paused for a minute, looking out at the Gotham City view from where they were camped. "Don't you think that she's also thinking along the same lines as you?"

When Dick gave him a confused look, Bruce clarified, "Don't you think that at least once, it has crossed her mind as to what she'd do if _you_ end up finding someone else?"

Bruce then let out a sigh when Dick said, "I didn't think of it that way."

"Live your life as Dick Grayson, as Nightwing. Let her live her life as Barbara Gordon and as Batgirl." Bruce then looked at Dick, adding, "You'll figure it out. You're young, but you've gone through a lot and came out much wiser in the end. Don't change the way that you love and care about people. Don't change the way that you see things in life. Don't repeat the mistakes that I've done in the past."

After the long silence between them – the one wherein Bruce gave Dick time to mull over what he just said, he told Dick, "I never said this outright since I came back, so I say it now. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being a good friend and partner…a good brother…and a good son. _I…love you…._"

Dick was stunned to hear those words. After many minutes of silence, he blurted out, "You're not drunk, are you? You're not really a pod person taking over Bruce Wayne, right?"

With a frown of curiosity creasing his forehead, Bruce shook his head. "Negative. Why would you think that?"

"Nothing…. Just checking…. Tonight's just too weird of a night. This is the most that you and I have ever talked."

Bruce deadpanned, "What do you expect? You only turn 21 once. It's a rite of passage."

"So this…this talk…being somewhat sentimental…are all part of the 'new you?'"

"I had time to think while I was gone."

"It's a nice change."

"Good to know that."

Dick then allowed a wry smirk slowly but surely escaped from his lips. As an important fact just dawned upon him, he could not help but think out loud, "And you just said the dreaded 'L' word…that along with 'thank you.' I'll be damned."

Bruce chuckled, being caught off-guard and feeling embarrassed. "_Don't_ push it." He then presented a box which was smaller than the one Alfred earlier presented to Dick. "This is for you. Happy Birthday…."

With a warm smile, Dick accepted the gift and opened the small red velvet box. In it was an antique sapphire ring set in gold. His eyes were wide for a while, with him rendered speechless. Once he partially recovered from the surprise, he looked at Bruce with awe still reflected in his eyes as he murmured, "It's beautiful…."

It meant a lot to Bruce that Dick took the time to examine the ring and its intricacies, all while the latter seem to be trying to decipher the origins of the ring and why it was now being presented to him. The ring meant a lot to Bruce, and he was happy from being reassured that its new owner would treasure it as much as he did.

Dick then gazed up to Bruce once more. He was surprised, humbled, and honored with the gift that he now held in his hand.

"My father wrote in his journals that he wanted to give me that ring once I turned 21. It was passed on from generation to generation, from father to eldest son," said Bruce, his tone rather nostalgic as he made eye contact with Dick once more. "Since he wasn't alive, Alfred gave it to me in his stead when I came of age. And now, I give it to you on the day that _you _turn 21. Along with the ring is advice that I give to you as a father and as a friend. It's my way of saying I love you and being thankful that I'm alive and well to give it to you on your special day."

Having tears bead up on the corner of his eyes, Dick focused on Bruce. "You've given me so much already. This ring should go to Damian instead of me."

Bruce's smile became gentler, warmer. "When Tim and Damian come of age, I have something planned for them. That ring, this talk, is for _you_. You're _my_ son, too, Dick. My _eldest _son…and family tradition shouldn't be broken."

Dick then hugged Bruce tightly, his eyes brimming with tears. Seconds later, he allowed those tears to flow from him. When he remembered those days, especially those first fateful days wherein he thought that Bruce was dead, he instinctively tightened his embrace and clung on to Bruce. He whispered the words, "You've been a father to me, and much more than that. No matter what happened between us…no matter what happens between us from here on out…I love you."

"And I love you too, Son," said Bruce back as the hug continued. "I have _always_ loved you and have been proud of you – _never _doubt that anymore."

After father and son drew away from each other, a teary-eyed Dick smiled and said, "Don't go away again, all right? It's not easy filling in for you."

"I won't be going away anywhere, _trust_ me," said Bruce with a gentle and authentic smile. "Do your best to be happy, Dick. Give Barbara and you the time and space needed. Stay true to those who matter most to you. Do what you think and feel is right as you go along."

Dick scanned their surroundings, sharing his thoughts with Bruce about the woman who had been such a major part of his life. "I won't give up on Babs that easily. I love her. Come what may, she'll always be part of my life…of our lives…"

"Good," said Bruce with a kind smile. He then rested his hand consolingly on Dick's shoulder. "I'm sorry that I didn't have the time to get you a card or wrap your present."

"This talk and the present were much better than a dedicated birthday card." Dick then looked at the night sky and thought aloud, "So I'm 21 now. I've already done all those rites-of-passage things, and then some. So what's there left to do?"

With a wry smile, Bruce proposed, "Leave this spot. Patrol Gotham one more time. If it seems peaceful for the rest of the night, grab a bite to eat at a 24-hour diner somewhere…no costumes. Just Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson…. How does that sound?"

Dick's eyes playfully lit up. He then smirked, his eyes squinting suspiciously as he looked at Bruce. "I just want a quiet meal. No surprise trips to the counter to have the diner staff sing an off-tune _'Happy Birthday'_ song with a lit candle on top of a slice of cake. No gawking patrons and hokey antics. I'm not eight or twelve anymore, all right? Leave me at least a shred of dignity intact, will you?"

Bruce chuckled, telling Dick, "Can't promise you that. Race you to the movie theater, just like old times?"

"You'll _never_ beat me."

"We'll just see about that."

Mentor and ex-student…partners…friends….father and eldest son…sped off into the night for that challenge race once the mask and the cowl were respectively back on. Each man exerted all effort to best the other. They swung from one building to the next, with Nightwing and Batman alternating first place in a tight race…this time with father knowing that his son – the one who loved all so openly – had a lighter state of heart and mind.

This time, the father knew that he made his eldest son happy in one of the most important milestones of his son's life…that he said most of what was needed to be said…and that in the future, he would have more fatherly moments such as tonight with all his children….

**End**


End file.
